Prison Break!

It's a boy (x2)

[Edit] (x1)

Locked Up

It has been 5 days since I arrived at this prison. Its a very nice prison. Outdoor privileges, including a large run that leads to and around a beautiful reservoir. It has tall pines and ferns. Sunlight streaming through the leaves.

There's a porch for reading. A watchdog, too old to truly watch, is great company. The guards are plentiful and fur-ocious but friendly indeed. Especially Houdini, who's pink tongue, a stark contrast to his all black coat, sticks out whenever he's excited.

My cell has its perks. A comfortable bed, a couch and wifi access. It also has its downsides. No cellular reception, they let me keep my phone. One meal a day, peanut butter on bread and potato chips. Also water or if I'm good, a beer.

I have read a book on Buddhist meditation and begun examining the history of the United States from the perspective of the forgotten and under-appreciated. Dense material.

I've somewhat gotten over my need to eat when I'm alone. Could be that I don't have any food, but I could order some. They do allow deliveries here. Its certainly not a maximum security facility.

In truth, I am here to film a cat giving birth. As the science of pregnant cats is less than precise, I have been sitting tight for many days and nights waiting to be called in to action.

Despite the luxuries I am afforded, this place is still a prison. I am trapped by obligations and money. I can't leave or I'll likely lose my job or lose opportunities in the future. I can't afford that so I stay, even though the door is unlocked.

What did I do today?

Monday

Oh, today I took a day trip to South Carolina to film dogs playing fetch.

Tuesday

Oh, today I filmed a gay couple and their ferrets fooling around.

Wednesday

Oh, today I filmed parrots while a transexual took photographs.

Thursday

Oh, today I was booked for two shoots in England:

1. the worlds largest rabbit and its owner, a woman who had plastic surgery to look like Jessica Rabbit.

2. a ferret racing competition

Friday

Oh, today I had to cancel the UK shoots but was booked for a week of shooting in British Columbia, LA and San Diego with...guinea pigs, hamsters and rabbits.

A note on the difficulty of my job (or why I can't use Craigslist)

Looking for children and small, furry creatures (Boston)

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Date: 2010-05-17, 6:49PM EDT
Reply to: (Withheld)

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Hi,

I am looking for young children, preferably under 10 years old, to be filmed with any of the following: guinea pigs, hamsters, ferrets and/or rabbits.

• Location: Boston
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: ;)

Dogs

Started a new job this week. Boiled down to the best possible pickup line: I travel around filming puppies. In fact, I'm going to Florida next week for that purpose. It isn't all glitz, glamour and paws though. I also have to go to places less desirable. My first trip was to such a place. Upstate New York. Its almost as bad as Jersey in its ability to be somewhere you don't really want to go at all. Anyway, the genius that I am, wanting to impress my producers with a quick shoot, booked a trip right through a blizzard. So here is that blizzard and part of my burnt orange Kia Rio.

.

Reunion

Last night was my five year high school reunion. I had had no intentions of going to such a ridiculous event but the friends I have kept in contact with told me I had to come. Plus, for $20 we got an open bar. Really cheap gin and tonics. Count me in.

How are you? What have you been up to? Where are you living? Where did you go to school again? Typical nonsense that no one will remember by the time of this posting. I even had the great misfortune of saying "nice to meet you, what's your name?" to a former classmate. She didn't seem too happy to be completely forgotten. Oh well.

After the drinks were flowing however, the awkwardness subsided and the real fun started. Everyone started to loosen up and by the end, guys were hitting on the girls who wound up being hot and the girls looked for a way out. Old hatreds fell away and other than a single rocket scientist, everyone was living at home or had just found a job and had moved out recently. Made me feel good about being a valet.

Now, I went to this soiree with two buddies of mine. I came home with neither of them. Shortly after getting home, Steve showed up just as inebriated as I was. Upon realizing he was alone, I checked for my other buddy in his room. Sure enough, fully clothed and passed out face down, sideways across his bed, I found the third member of our party. Not wishing to disturb him to find out how he got home, I grabbed a beer and hopped into bed.

This morning, Scott woke up to find blood all over his bed. He has no idea when he left the bar, how he got home or how he injured himself. With no evidence to piece together what happened, we simply laughed and took a trip to the friendly, local hospital.

Overall, a good night.

[EDIT] Another piece to the puzzle emerges.

"I totally got your roommate home alive after finding him trying to stuff his coat-check ticket into the the Charlie Card reader."